Behind The Scenes
by CrystalStarGuardian
Summary: ever wonder what goes on behind the scenes of a fic or episode? how the characters REALLY are? well here's your chance to find out!


"Behind The Scenes"  
  
Disclaimer mumbo jumbo: I don't own the Ronin Warriors (no kidding, right? :) they belong to Sunrise, etc. I'm not making any money off this (too bad ;) it's for your enjoyment only  
  
Crystal Star: okay, is everyone ready to start?  
  
Kento: no, I'm gonna be sick. I had to eat 16 hamburgers in the last scene. I'm a vegetarian!  
  
Dais: oh stop whining, atleast you got to keep both eyes!  
  
Crystal Star: erm... speaking of which Dais, your eye patch is on the wrong eye  
  
Dais: oopsy! ::switches eye patch to left eye::  
  
Kale: ::runs up to Crystal Star Guardian, whining:: Star-chan! Tell the Ancient to stop hitting meeee! ::jumping from one foot to the next speedily::  
  
Ancient: ::walks up and wacks Kale on the head with his staff:: stop being baby!  
  
Kale: ouchie!!! ::holding head:: Ssssttttaaaarrrrrr!!!!  
  
Crystal Star: ::grabs staff away from the Ancient:: what'd I tell you about that?   
  
Ancient: ::reaching for the staff:: gimmie! mine!   
  
Crystal Star: are you going to play nice?  
  
Ancient: ah... ::thinks for a sec:: ...no  
  
Crystal Star: then forget it  
  
Ancient: but it MINE! ::starts jumping up and down:: mine mine mine!  
  
Crystal Star: ::ignoring him:: where's everyone else!  
  
Yuli and Mia: ::walk up to them, talking::  
  
Yuli: and clearly, the situation is all futile. I mean, what dolt couldn't understand the possibility of average expenses and costs of choice realistate?  
  
Mia: ::awed:: oh Yuli! your so smart!  
  
Yuli: ::smug:: yes yes, I know  
  
Crystal Star, Kale, Kento and Ancient: ¬.¬  
  
Crystal Star: everyone else! get over here!  
  
Cye: ::walks over eating a fish filet sandwich::  
  
Kale: O.O!!! nooooo!!!! not fish! ahhhh!!! ::runs in a circle, yelling with his arms waving wildly in the air:: bad fish! Kale good boy!  
  
Crystal Star: Kale it's okay! your a good boy, the fish is bad!  
  
Kale: ::stops and looks at her hopeful:: Kale good boy?  
  
Crystal Star: ::nods:: yes  
  
Kale: fish bad?  
  
Crystal Star: that's right ::wacks Cye on the head with the Ancient's staff::   
  
Cye: yeow!! ::rubs his head::  
  
Ancient: hey! my job hit people!   
  
Crystal Star: ::once again, ignores the Ancient and glares at Cye:: you know Kale's traumatized by fish!  
  
Cye: but it tastes so good!  
  
Kento: ::groans:: please, don't mention food ::hiccups and covers mouth, looking a little green::  
  
Crystal Star: ::sighs and looks around:: alright, where's Ryo, Kayura, Sage, Rowen, Sehkmet and Anubis?  
  
Kayura: ::walks up, talking into a cell phone:: I told you NO! I am NOT working with Britney Spears in my new movie! I can't stand that slut! what? oh, well... you can... uhh... well fine! ::blows a raspberry into the phone and hangs up:: my agent is so fired!  
  
Crystal Star: ::shakes her head:: I'm not commenting on that. where's everyone else!?  
  
Rowen and Ryo: ::walk up to them, talking::  
  
Ryo: but how'd you get her to DO that? I mean, no person in their right mind would just AGREE to do something like that in PUBLIC  
  
Rowen: ::smirking:: Ryo, buddy, it's all in the accent  
  
Ryo: oh?  
  
Rowen: yeah, girls just adore guys with accents. especially New York ones  
  
Kayura: damn straight! Rowen, my love!  
  
Rowen: ah! keep it away!! ::runs from her::  
  
Kayura: come back m'love! ::chases him, hearts in her eyes::  
  
Ryo: ::looks at Crystal Star Guardian, who's surprisingly calm:: erm.. don't you care?  
  
Crystal Star: nah, I have faith in Rowen. besides, he cheats on me and I'll give him to his fans, sans clothing ::grabs Ryo's shirt in a death grip:: now where have you been!?!   
  
Ryo: ^.^;; uh... I got lost?  
  
Crystal Star: oiy ve...  
  
Sage: ::comes running up followed by Sehkmet:: NO! I will NOT give you a lock of my hair!  
  
Sehkmet: but it's so purty! and smells like strawberries!  
  
Sage: stay away! ::hides behind Crystal Star Guardian:: hide me! he's got scissors!  
  
Crystal Star: Sehky, what'd I tell you about running with sharp objects?   
  
Sehkmet: ::pauses to think:: um...... no to?  
  
Crystal Star: very good  
  
Sehkmet: ::throws scissors away:: okay... ::pulls out something from behind his back:: what about a blow torch instead??  
  
Sage: ::screams highpitched, sounding like a girl:: stay away from meeee!!!  
  
Crystal Star: ::takes Ancient's staff and bonks Sehkmet on the head, making him drop the blow torch:: knock it off! your starting to worry me...  
  
Ancient: me bonk people!! ME!!!  
  
Crystal Star: we're only missing Anubis. get over here Bissy!  
  
Anubis: ::walks up carrying a snake:: look what I found!  
  
Sehkmet: eeeek! don't come near me! it's slimey and has no legs!   
  
Anubis: ::snickers and holds the snake out to Sehkmet:: come on, let him have a lil snakey lick  
  
Sehkmet: ahhhhh!!! nooooo!!! ::faints::  
  
Anubis: ::edges over to Dais:: I have something for you too  
  
Dais: ::looking at him suspiciously:: uh.. what?  
  
Anubis: this! ::pulls out a spider, which jumps onto Dais' head::  
  
Dais: ahh!!! ::starts running around, shrieking:: it's in my hair! it's in my hair! it's. in. my. HAIR! get it out get it out!  
  
Anubis: ::laughing hysterically:: XD!!!  
  
Ancient: ::looks at Crystal Star hopeful:: me bonky?  
  
Crystal Star: NO!  
  
Ancient: ::pouts and crosses arms:: meany head!  
  
Rowen: ::walks back over dragging Kayura, who's attached herself to his leg, and is sliding across the floor on her stomach:: get a crow bar! quick! she's cutting off the circulation!  
  
Crystal Star: Kento, would you please..?  
  
Kento: okay ::walks over and yanks Kayura off Rowen, almost ripping his pants in the process::  
  
Kayura: ::reaching desperately for Rowen:: nooooo!!! my love! return to me!!  
  
Rowen: no way in Hell! ::turns to find Crystal Star Guardian glaring at him, her arms crossed:: uh oh..  
  
Crystal Star: ::looks less then pleased:: Rowen Hashiba-  
  
Rowen: don't hit me! I love you... ::clings to her, balling hysterically::  
  
Crystal Star: ack! ::tries to pry him off, he only tightens his hold:: Rowen! let me go!  
  
Rowen: ::not listening and keeps balling::  
  
Kayura: ::falls to her knees in dispair:: noooooo!  
  
Cye: ::raises an eyebrow:: are we going to start any time soon? or can I go get another fish sand-  
  
Kale: O.O!! fish!!!! ahhhh!!!  
  
Crystal Star: Cye!  
  
~*Some Time Later*~  
  
Crystal Star: okay, is everyone ready?  
  
Everyone: yes!  
  
Crystal Star: good! start!  
  
Ryo: ::holding his katanas and looking angrily at the Warlords:: we'll never allow you or your master to win!  
  
Anubis: ::laughs:: foolish boy! do you think.. ::blinks, watching Sage dance around behind Ryo, his knees together:: erm...  
  
Crystal Star: Sage! what's wrong with you?  
  
Sage: ::bending his knees, wiggling slightly:: I hafta pee!  
  
Everyone: -.-;;  
  
Crystal Star: why didn't you go before putting on your full armor?  
  
Sage: I didn't have to at the time! ::jumping around and whimpering:: Star-chan! Please! I'm going to explode!  
  
Crystal Star: fine! but hurry!  
  
Sage: kay! ::runs speedily towards the bathroom::  
  
~*~  
  
Crystal Star: come on Kento, you have to eat them. it's in the script  
  
Kento: no way! ::pushes the food away:: yuck!  
  
Ancient: ::strodes over and wacks Kento on the head with his staff, then stuffs a burger in his mouth:: eat!  
  
Crystal Star: hey! how'd you get that back?!  
  
Ancient: ::points at Sehkmet:: him  
  
Crystal Star: ::glares at the Warlord:: Sehky! how could you!  
  
Sehkmet: but he gave me CHEESE!  
  
Dais: behold, the power of cheese!  
  
Kento: ::swallows the burger, then slaps a hand over his mouth and runs away::  
  
Crystal Star: oh great...  
  
Rowen: ::runs over and glomps onto Crystal Star Guardian from behind:: hide me! Kayura's gone mad! she's quoting Shakespear sonets of love!  
  
Kayura: ::runs over:: what light, on yonder window breaks! it is the stars! and Rowen is the moon!  
  
Rowen: ahhh! Star-chan! tell her to leave me alone! please! I'll be good I swear!  
  
Crystal Star: ::breaks out of Rowen's hold, only to be glomped onto by him again:: Kayura, Rowen's not your type  
  
Kayura: he's not? how come?  
  
Crystal Star: ::trying to yank her arm free of his grasp:: because he's gay  
  
Kayura: ::blinks a few times:: really?  
  
Crystal Star: yup  
  
Kayura: okay ::walks away::  
  
Rowen: oh thank you! wait... ::lets her go:: I'm not gay! am I? ::watches Anubis walk by to test himself, then shakes his head:: nope, I'm certainly not!  
  
Crystal Star: thank kami. I only said that so she'd leave you alone  
  
Rowen: oh!  
  
Kayura: ::runs back:: I don't care if your gay Rowen! I'll change you!!  
  
Rowen: ack! ::falls to his knees and latches onto Crystal Star Guardian's waist:: it didn't work! help me! ::starts balling again::  
  
Crystal Star: -.-;;  
  
~*~  
  
Mia and Yuli: ::wrapped back to back by a chain and are being held captive by a soldier:: help us!  
  
Ryo: ::takes a step forward:: let them go! or else!  
  
Soldier: ::laughs:: or else what?  
  
Ryo: ::opens his mouth to answer, but's stopped when Cye puts his hand on his shoulder::   
  
Cye: Ryo, lets not, and say we did. okay?  
  
Ryo: we can do that? okay! who wants doughnuts?  
  
Cye, Sage and Rowen: ME!  
  
Ryo: right! to the snack table!  
  
::the four of them run off::  
  
Kento: I think I'll have some tea ::walks off::  
  
Soldier: huh?  
  
Mia and Yuli: ::blink a few times::  
  
Yuli: hey you good for nothing dolts! what about us??  
  
Mia: now what Yuli?  
  
Yuli: how the Hell should I know?  
  
Mia: ::giggles:: oh Yuli! your my hero! so bright and small!  
  
Crystal Star: note to self... get new actors... hey! I wonder if the Dragonball Z gang need jobs! ::walks off to contemplate::  
  
Soldier: I'm not getting paid enough for this. I'm calling my agent ::drops Mia and Yuli then stomps off::  
  
Mia: ::starts singing off-key:: just the two of us! we can make it if we try! just the two of us! you and I!  
  
Yuli: ::fallen under Mia, kicking violently:: get her off! she's heavier then she looks! can't... breath... ahh!  
  
~*~  
  
Crystal Star: okay, let's TRY not to mess this one up!  
  
::the Ronins are facing Talpa, who's very large::  
  
Sage: this is where it ends Talpa!  
  
Talpa: your armors belong to me! when will you fools realize this!  
  
Rowen: ::mumbling:: I'm not a fool... I'm smart... ::sniffles::  
  
Kento: ::pats his shoulder comfortingly:: we know, it's okay buddy  
  
::a sound like a loud zipper explodes into the air::  
  
Kale: what the Hell was that!?  
  
Cye: eww! what's that smell?  
  
Dais: somebodies baking brownies!  
  
Ryo: ::covers his nose:: it was Talpa!  
  
Crystal Star: gross! I told you not to eat those beans!  
  
Talpa: I have a gas disorder! it's not my fault!  
  
Anubis: anyone have Lysol?  
  
Sehkmet: no one light a match!  
  
Sage: whew! I hope you didn't blow a hole in your armor!  
  
Kento: hey Cye, I bet he's asking himself, "do farts have lumps?"  
  
Cye: ::goes hysterical:: XD!!!  
  
Kayura: it's making my hair frizz!  
  
~*~  
  
::the Ronins are all standing in a circle back to back, as Nether Spirits float around them::  
  
Sage: now what? we can't call on our armors because of the spirits  
  
Ryo: ummm... maybe we should uhh..  
  
Rowen: ::reaches out slightly:: what'll happen if I touch em?  
  
Cye: I don't know, try it  
  
Rowen: okay ::starts to put out his hand, but pulls it back quickly:: wait! I don't trust you Cye! you wanted to leave me in space!  
  
Cye: who told?!  
  
::suddenly, five guys in gray jump suits with metal backpacks run up::  
  
Kento: who the Hell are you?  
  
Guy 1: we're the Ghost Busters!  
  
Guy 2: we got an anonymous call there were ghosts here ::one of the Nether Spirits float through him. he giggles like a school girl and jumps onto Guy 3:: hold me!  
  
Guy 3: O.O ahh! ::drops him::  
  
Rowen: that woulda happened to ME?! ::glares at Cye:: you knew didn't you??  
  
Cye: ...I choose not to answer  
  
Ancient: ::comes running over with his staff above his head:: people bonk! people bonk! mwahahahahaha!  
  
Ghost Busters: ahhh! mad old guy with stick! run away run away! ::make a mad dash out of there, the Ancient right behind them, gleefully bonking::  
  
Crystal Star: well... that was entertaining  
  
~*~  
  
Mia: Rio, be careful!  
  
Ryo: for the last time, my name is Ryo!  
  
Mia: oohhh! Reo!  
  
Ryo: Ryo!  
  
Mia: Rou?  
  
Ryo: Ryo!  
  
Mia: Ronald?  
  
Ryo: Ryo!  
  
Mia: Rufus?  
  
Ryo: Ryo!!  
  
Mia: ah, okay. sorry Billy  
  
Ryo: gawd! ::walks away::  
  
Mia: where're you going Ringo?  
  
~*~  
  
Crystal Star: okay, this is the LAST SCENE! Can we TRY not to blooper?  
  
Mia: I think we've been doing quite good  
  
Ryo: :raises an eyebrow at her:: and I think your a moron  
  
Kento: good answer!  
  
Yuli: ::goes running by, yelling:: WHITE BLAZE HAS GONE MAD!  
  
White Blaze: ::looks rather hungry as he chases Yuli::  
  
Everyone: O.O;  
  
Crystal Star: it was only a matter of time ^__^   
  
Rowen: if I didn't know any better, I'd think you planned that..  
  
Crystal Star: well it's a good thing you don't know any better, isn't it Ro ::smirking:: okay, I give up. who wants to go out for pizza?  
  
Everyone: ME!!  
  
Crystal Star: lets go, you silly excuses for actors  
  
::they leave, locking the doors::  
  
Yuli: ::pounds on them:: heeey! don't leave me alone with the tiger! ahh!  
  
The End! ^_~  
  
  



End file.
